Every year Christmas comes again. I wonder sometimes how I can have a renewed attitude about this precious time of year. Every year, for the past many years, I have felt a sadness, a little sadness that seems to accompany the joy I have for Christmas. Perhaps it is the disappointment that I cannot be with all of my family.......or give the kind of little treasures as gifts that I would like to share with those whom I love so much. It might be that I know there are so many people who are alone and very sad themselves this time of year. Christmas is very difficult for them, I am sure. I just feel a bit restless and unquieted as the days grow closer to December 25th. I don't seem to capture the spirit of this time until it is nearly gone.
Does anyone else have these same feelings? I hope I am not alone in my quandry about Christmas. I love it and when I remember the Christmases of the past, I feel a gentle smile coming back into my heart, but at the same time, it is very painful that all those in my family who used to gather together to celebrate and share and hug and love, are not together as much, if at all. I don't wish to dampen your joy but I miss those terribly wonderful times when my Father was alive, my grandmothers, grandfather......and now our older son lives in California; we live in Utah. This year, he and his wife will celebrate their Christmas with her family. Children grow up, marry and begin their lives and sometimes the parents are left feeling left out, lonely and missing the years of the past when everyone was together.
I know tomorrow I will have temporarily forgotten these thoughts, as I go about our work, but if I can't sleep at night, because I awake thinking of such things, or other worries, it is hard to make the loneliness go away. Perhaps if any of you feel the same way, you could write to me and then this emptiness might not be quite so bad. I don't really write very much on my blog as I'd like. I realized tonight, amidst all these sad feelings, that if I wrote more and shared more on my blog, I might hear from more of you, as you share what you think about. I appreciate your comments on my blog so much. As both of our sons are grown now and married, my husband and I sometimes feel at such a loss. We have many good days, however, that help to overshadow those times.
I would love to hear from you.
It has snowed here. The snow always seems to make things quiet. We are doing another art show this weekend. Sunday, we will be able to go to church, though. Thank goodness for that. I am so renewed by the feeling of others worshipping. I hope you will feel God's spirit, too. It can help us so much.