the birds are calling me......

every morning, i spend quite a while searching my favorite blogs and looking for new ones; (it is one of things that keeps me going every day......finding so many beautiful pictures and things to learn about!) this morning, though, i drove my husband to work (we are having major car problems; his truck is sitting at the curb muttering under it's breath, saying......."when are you going to fix me?"), so at 6 a.m., i drove him to work, coming back in the dark, our headlights flickering on and off and i just sat petrified that a policeman would stop and say......"do you like driving in the dark, miss?" i could have gone back to sleep, but after watching a program on weight loss last night (i weigh 120 pounds but desperately want to lose weight because i can't fit into very many of my clothes), i must have been subconciously motivated to "get going"......because i came home after pulling into the parking lot behind our apartment building and shuttered a sigh of relief that i didn't get stopped. (you can probably surmise by now that our car is having problems, too). i stayed up and washed dishes, scrubbed the sink, washed walls, cleaned the shower and generally scolded myself for putting things off so much. at night, i lay awake for nearly 45 minutes thinking of all the things i should have done that day and then list myelf to sleep, discovering even more things i can do the next day!!! funny how people think......i wish i could change my way of reasoning as easily as i change channels on the radio (because i can never find anything decent to listen to on the radio, except classical music. i eventually find something i like, but it takes so long. i love "fireflies" by owl city, though. what a great song, so cute!) anyway, it is nearly 10 a.m. and i still have so many things to do. i was looking at a beautiful blog and then i heard the birds outside singing and calling......i am sure they were talking directly to me (if not other people as well, who were sitting indoors instead of being outside)......all of a sudden, it sounded like 20 birds were all singing and calling. i had this desperate feeling to fling open the door and run outside. i am so tired of living in the city. i would like to go anywhere but here, or any other city......to the ocean, to a forest, a field, a mountain, a hill, a glade, a meadow, somewhere, it just has to be beautiful, peaceful, lovely and filled with birds and animals. how far we take ourselves away from nature sometimes. i wish we could all just live out in the woods and walk everywhere, throw away the phones, computers, i-pods, televisions, etc. and just spend time listening to the beauty of the world outside our houses. how different some people's lives must be who spend nearly their entire day outside of their house!!!!!! my husband mike and i used to garden and we had huge gardens of flowers and vegetables.....we spent hours and hours outside.......that was our real home, not the house we lived in. we really lived in our garden, in our paths to the barn, in the gnarled, twig fences we built, in the little log cabin we made......all these places were our home, our sanctuaries, our dream places. i'd better leave these words where they will drive me to do what they say......go outside. the birds are still singing, more faintly, but even in their fainter voices, i can hear their tiny souls saying......leave that nest, leave that door, walk out into the trees, under the trees is air and breath and life and beauty! debbie

(image from enhabiten, an incredible blog that i have spent so much time visiting and being inspired by......photo by tiena).