about me.......

Hello dear friends..... It is a Sunday. I am wishing I were somewhere else having fun, but have to stay here today and just really am feeling lonely. I hope admitting that doesn't scare people away. There must be other lonely people out there. My husband Mike had a meeting to go to and I am just feeling so alone. So I thought I would reach out to those who read my blog and share with you a little about myself, which I haven't done before. So many times, I just post pictures or a little about my art, but I haven't really said very much about myself. So, I hope you enjoy reading this and I would so love to hear from anyone who would care to share your thoughts or comments. I love hearing about other people's lives, too!!! First of all, I wanted to ask if anyone who reads this is from the L.A. area??? Mike and I are so anxious to make some friends here. We know people from church and enjoy their company but also would like to meet other people, too. If you are anywhere near the L.A. area, please write to me! We would love to get together with people here just to talk and get to know each other and maybe do some creative projects together or whatever!! It would be so fun. To tell you something about myself..... I was born in Los Angeles, actually, in 1950 (August 17th, to be exact). My mother and father were (and are) musicians and teachers and as I grew up, they were always teaching, performing and involved in music in one way or the other. It was exciting. I loved hearing them play classical piano, sing opera or the old pop tunes, play the old classic jazz piano (my Dad) or do beautiful duets together. Their love of music that they shared together was a beautiful part of their relationship. Often, they would have musician and artist friends over for dinner and even as a child, I would love to sit in a corner, watching them and listening to their conversations, amazed at their humor, intellect and enthusiasm about life! We lived in Garden Grove, Surfside and Long Beach, California as I grew up and I especially loved the house we had in Garden Grove. It was a huge 2 or 3 story house, blue with white trim and huge avacado and other trees in the yard, which it seemed to me was nearly acre in size. There was a wonderful fish pond with amazing orange fish in it, a big barn in the backyard and hydrangea bushes everywhere that I loved to hide behind and become intoxicated by their incredible, beautiful scent. I could have just lived outside my entire childhood!!!! I loved it! The fresh air, the trees, the birds and squirrels, the space!!! It was all thrilling to me! Even now, I almost become unhappy being indoors too much! I just can't wait to get outside! Our home in Surfside was a quirky little cottage right across from the ocean, literally!!! My older brother David (two years older than I) would so often run out the door and across the little street to the sand and we would practically live on the beach!! I have absolutely wondrous memories from living at that little bungalow. The sound of the ocean, the sunshine, the happiness people around there exuded because they were there at the beach.... all these things made me feel so blessed and happy myself! I had white blonde hair when I was little, until, I don't know even, maybe when I was 6 or 7. I will have to ask my Mom actually when my hair turned brown. I'm sure it must have been a gradual thing because I sure don't remember that at all. I remember running around in little one piece sunsuits all the time, barefoot and just feeling like the world was invinceable and the most amazing thing ever! I really spent so much of my time outside, I don't really remember being in my room or indoors, playing with dolls, or whatever. I remember watching the adults a lot; I remember thinking a lot about things, wondering.....questioning. I have two brothers, no sisters (which was a huge disappointment for me.....I wanted to have a sister so much!!) But, my brothers are pretty cool. We are not really close but are getting back to being communicative. We're so different, but I am trying to just appreciate them for who they are and hopefully, they will do the same for me. I think I always felt like there was something or someone missing in my life.....I never really felt very close to my brothers. I always wanted to have a sister who I could do things with, laugh with, talk to, etc. That never happened. I didn't have a daughter either, so that has been a very sad part of my life. I don't know why that happened, or didn't happen, but it just did. I always seem to be missing someone who is not there. I've sometimes thought it was just the part of myself who I long to be, or maybe there really was another child who was supposed to be born to our family, a little girl.....who never was. I know someday, I will know and understand all of that. But I still live with that loneliness, a part of my life. I am so happy with my husband that he fills so much in my heart.....he fills that emptiness that I sometimes feel. I know he really wanted a daughter, too, but sometimes you just have to live with what life gives you. We love our sons, so much. We have two sons....Michael who is 29 and Matthew who is 27. They are wonderful sons!!! Maybe a little more about myself, but you are probably wanting to read something else by now, I suppose..... I grew up mostly in California, as I mentioned. We actually moved from California, the summer before I went into the 4th grade. My older brother had asthma and the smog of California was really starting to affect his asthma. So, as shocking as it was, we had to move. It was very bewildering for me, I think, but also exciting, too. We moved to Klamath Falls, Oregon. (Has anyone ever heard of Klamath Falls???) My parents bought an old hunters cabin in the hills, overlooking an incredible wildlife refuge of marshes, beautiful wild birds and animals and endless space. The mountains were on the other side of our "cabin", filled also with wild animals....deer, bears, raccoons, etc. It was quite ominous to me at first, but after a while, I thought we had truely moved to the most wonderful place in the world.....it was a huge adventure for me. I spent hours and hours walking in the woods, playing near the creek, discovering all kinds of wondrous and amazing places everywhere. I learned that I could talk to the trees and the animals.....I felt their sweet spirits and felt so close to nature. It truely blessed me so much to be able to be a part of nature in that personal, unique way. My father taught music at the public schools in town. We lived about 30 minutes from the town of Klamath Falls. We lived out by Harriman and Rocky Point Resort. (Has anyone heard of these places??) So, the drive to town was interesting. I took the bus or I drove with my Dad. It was a long drive. I loved looking out the window seeing the scenery and thinking about things. I started playing violin when I was in the fourth grade. I didn't like it very much, though. Later, I played the clarinet, but that also, was not a very pleasant instrument for me. Later in life, I found that playing the piano was so much more comfortable and wonderful for me. I love to compose things on the piano and improvise.....there is something in that experience for me that brings me great peace and comfort. Well, that's all for now. I would love to hear from anyone. I am so grateful to you for writing to me, those who do. I hope you have a wonderful day today. Take care. Debbie